Friday 15 May 2009

Arranging Overtime


There is only one job in Utopia that is worse than mine, and that is the Duties Inspector. Unfortunately, when the Duties Inspector is on leave, I am invariably directed to take on his role. Last Wednesday was one such occasion, when I was asked to arrange for 4 officers to work either 3 or 4 hours overtime prior to their 10 hour shift beginning at 9pm. Due to my proactive background in Dystopia, it was suggested that I also work, although I am now salaried, so won't receive an extra penny. It was an easy operation to organise, as my e-mail to the officers demonstrates.

'111, 112, 215 and 449 have all indicated that they will work this Friday for the robbery patrols, and by deft of logic I have therefore selected them to work that Friday. As there's no unmarked car available there will be 2 plain clothes officers performing dedicated foot patrols around the robbery hotspots. The other 2 officers will be uniform in a marked vehicle doing the usual proactive stuff whilst also responding to any robbery incidents. It will therefore be a bit 'gutty' but you are getting paid handsomely for it. I, however, am not.

All I need to know is if Friday's officers want to do 3 hours or 4? If there's 2 of you who will work 4, then I'll come in for 5 o'clock also. If no one wants to work 4, then we'll all come in at 6 for 3. If 1 of you wants to work 4, but the other 3 want to work 3, then we won't do 5, because 2 won't be enough, as this includes another 1 which is myself, so we'll meet at 6. If all 4 want to do 3, then we'll still meet at 6, because including myself that makes 5. Don't confuse this with 3 of you working at 5, because that will still only make 4, as the other 1 will therefore be here at 6 to do 3. Conversely, if 2 want to do 5 for 4 and 2 do 6 for 3, that will be fine, because the respective totals will actually be 3 do 5 for 4 and 2 do 6 for 3. So, you see, the options are simple, either at least 2 do 4 which, including myself makes 3, from 5 to 9 for a total of 4, or all 4 plus 1 which is 5 does 6 to 9 for a total of 3.'

It's now 8:45pm on a Friday and none of the officers ever arrived.

I thought I'd made it perfectly clear.

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