An Explanation for My Epiphany

I have to admit I've had cause to reflect on blogging after reading that one of my fellow police officers described my last post as being one from a 'brave' police officer who is prepared to carry on 'causing trouble with this police blogging lark.' I'm not brave, I've never intended to cause trouble, and this isn't a lark for me. I'm a coward who hides behind anonymity, I am not responsible for the 'trouble' police bloggers cause - the government is - and I take all of this very seriously. If we didn't write about what irks us, the public would think that we are indeed agents of that government, and not servants to the public.

I want to stress at this point that I haven't taken offence by Area Trace No Search's comment, not a bit of it. He writes a great blog and I sincerely hope he continues to do so. What's more, I hope that my last post doesn't lead that fine officer to cease blogging because he's concerned that my declaration of support for the Libertarian Party is unbecoming of a police officer and would therefore lead other unscrupulous journalists to 'out' us. However, I have to say that upon reading the Libertarian manifesto, I finally found a party that reflects my deep-founded political beliefs. In particular, their views on policing. Here is an excerpt from their manifesto on policing:

1. The basic mission for which the police exist is to prevent crime and disorder.
2. The ability of the police to perform their duties is dependent upon the public approval of police actions.
3. Police must secure the willing co-operation of the public in voluntary observation of the law to be able to secure and maintain the respect of the public.
4. The degree of co-operation of the public that can be secured diminishes proportionately to the necessity of the use of physical force.
5. Police seek and preserve public favour not by catering to public opinion, but by constantly demonstrating absolute impartial service to the law.
6. Police use physical force to the extent necessary to secure observance of the law or to restore order only when the exercise of persuasion, advice, and warning is found to be insufficient.
7. Police, at all times, should maintain a relationship with the public that gives reality to the historic tradition that the police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full-time attention to duties which are incumbent upon every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence.
8. Police should always direct their action strictly towards their functions, and never appear to usurp the powers of the judiciary.
9. The test of police efficiency is the absence of crime and disorder, not the visible evidence of police action in dealing with it.

This is not the viewpoint of some lunatic-fringe contingent. It actually extols all of the elements of policing that I and my fellow police bloggers write about on a daily basis. It's what we want. It's what you want. More pertinently, the above principles are those laid out by the founding father of the first ever professional police force - the Metropolitan Police Service - and that man is Sir Robert Peel. I should also point out that Mr Peel was a Conservative, and he lived in a time when conservative principles were those that are now reflected in the policies of the Libertarian Party. So, if my identity is exposed and the Chief Constable should decide to hang me for my views, then so be it. Hang me. Hang me high.

On a different but related note, I read an excellent post from Hog Day Afternoon today. Not just for the fact that it was so well written, but for one sentence. It was his desire to get home to Mrs H. I don't know why this hit a chord with me, but it did. So, I am to take a brief respite from blogging, only for a few days, to spend some time with Mrs Hobbes and Baby Hobbes, even though my wife is quick to expose my faults.

Anyway, I hope this encourages Area Trace No Search to continue blogging, he would be a sad loss to the community. Until I return, I'd appreciate your thoughts on this and my previous posts. I've messed around with the settings on my blog, and if anyone cares to comment on previous posts I should get an e-mail alerting me, so I promise I shall respond.

In the meantime, please don't forget to show your support on Armed Forces Day this weekend. It's a time to show appreciation for all of those young men and women - past and present - who are prepared to give their lives in order to protect our liberty.

Kind of brings all of the above into perspective, doesn't it?

A New Hope

Recently in a land very, very close...

It is a period of turmoil, the government is in disarray and the judicial system has lost all credibility. Sensing that the Emperor is losing influence over his Imperial subjects, three Chief Constables begin a rebellion. Other Chief Constables from around the Empire watch intently, waiting to see the outcome, waiting for their opportunity to overthrow the tyranny of Darth Brown.


One Chief Constable to directly challenge the authority of Lord Brown and his minions in the Imperial Home Office is Peter Fahy of Greater Manchester Police who said, "The performance regime of the last few years has produced a style of performance management which is focused on the figures themselves as the outcome and sees compliance with processes as the best way to produce that outcome. At its worse it becomes and inquest on what has already happened in an attempt to catch someone out. It does not lift the soul." Will he succeed? Will he keep his job? Whatever happens to him, I have no doubt that his officers admire him, as do I.

The next Chief Constable to attack Emperor Brown's weakened regime is Mark Rowley. He was not pleased to learn that his budget will be slashed by £1.6 million pounds, effectively meaning that he will have to lose 50 police officers and staff next year. The cost of re-billing the Surrey tax-payer will cost £1.2 million, meaning that any potential saving will be negated. He has decided to seek a judicial review over the matter in a direct challenge to the authority of the government. Again, will he succeed? Will he keep his job? Regardless, along with his officers I am sure that the people of Surrey are relieved to see a senior police officer challenging the lunacy of our masters.

Finally, we have Colin Port the Chief Constable of Avon and Somerset. I won't say much on this matter here, as this is the subject of my next posting on Police Oracle, which you can either link to here or on the Inspector Leviathan icon below. In short, he's refusing to return hard drives containing 2,500 indecent images to a discredited 'expert' and risks going to jail. It's a risk he's prepared to take. If he can identify just one child from these images and rescue them, he will have fulfilled his duty as a police officer. What a man. The law is an ass, we all know it, and sometimes what is morally right has to take precedence.


Would you be prepared to go to jail over this matter? Think about it. You'll lose your job, you won't be able to pay your mortgage, no one will give you a job when you leave prison even though they will be singing your praises as you're led away to your prison cell, and you still have your own family to support.

Or should Mr Port accept the ruling of the High Court Judges? They have applied their interpretation of the law to this matter. The law stands. It can only be appealed against and should this fail, well it's just something you have to accept. Injustice is served upon many people daily. What makes Mr Port any different?

The Pre-Release-Risk Assessment

I received an e-mail from Head Quarters this morning, advising me that before a detainee is released from police custody, Sergeants must now conduct a 'Pre-release risk-assessment.' They have a set of questions that they must read out to ensure that the detainee won't come to harm after they leave the police station. These also include observations on matters such as their clothing. 'Why is that Mr Hobbes', I hear you ask? Well, when they were arrested it might have been nice and sunny outside, but the weather has since turned inclement during their confinement.

So, if they're wearing a t-shirt and shorts and it's now raining, the Custody Sergeant has to ask them how far they have to travel, if they have enough money, and if they are likely to get a bit of a cold if made to walk home. If there is the remote risk they may get a sniffle, a police vehicle will pick them up and take them directly to their door. I have suggested to the Custody Sergeants that they pay for the detainees taxi home and to apologise for any inconvenience being arrested may have caused them, but was politely told,"With respect Sir, f*ck off."

I was only trying to lift their spirits.


Finally, it has been brought to the Chief Constable's attention that Custody Sergeants do not ask intrusive or probing questions as part of their booking-in risk assessment, which I suppose we can now refer to as the 'booking-in pre-pre-release risk assessment', (I wonder how long it will be before Officers have to conduct a 'pre-arrest pre-booking-in pre-pre-release risk assessment). It was felt that some detainees may not volunteer information to the Custody Sergeant about any ailments, conditions or illnesses they may have because they could be too embarrassed to mention it.

This is now the fault of the Custody Sergeant, because they didn't ask the detainee the right question that would have made the detainee feel comfortable about revealing what they are embarrassed about, but which they are too embarrassed to talk about if not asked and which, I presume, they desperately hope they are never asked about because it's a very embarrassing thing for people to know.

Meeting a Veteran Officer

Quite recently, I attended a firearms incident and after it had all concluded, was stood writing my decision log next to my car. An elderly gentleman appeared from one of the houses and enquired about what had happened. I told him that there was nothing much to worry about. He then told me that he was once a police officer but had retired when he finished his full 30 year's service in 1975. He was years now 84 years of age. I shook his hand and congratulated him on receiving so much of what he was owed for such a lengthy period of time, as so many officers I knew who had retired died within just a few years of doing so. This was all too familiar with him, and he no longer had any friends remaining alive with whom he served.

I spent over an hour talking with this man, listening to how things were, and quickly realised that no matter what period in history an officer had patrolled the streets of Utopia, that we all share the same pride for having done so. I imagine it is the same elsewhere in the UK, if not the world. Unfortunately, I was called to return to the station to conduct a custody review, but I could have spent hours talking to this man. We said our farewells and I promised to drop in on him some time soon. Driving back to the station, the harshness and discipline he spoke about reminded me of the instructions I received from my Sergeant as a young probationary constable arriving at my first station in Oceana.

There were 10 points, and whichever one I transgressed during my probation, he would make me repeat to him verbatim:

1. You will run the tea club. You will do so enthusiastically. You will run it good. You will run it well. You may decide whether you want to collect subs on a weekly or monthly basis. The Inspector, other sergeants and I do not contribute to the running of the tea club, but you will ask us first above all others whether we would like tea, coffee, toast or biscuits after parade.

2. You will accept every shoplifter, sudden death and missing person report. If you are on foot patrol, which you will be until I am satisfied that you are capable of performing the role of operator in a marked vehicle, you will call up for a vehicle to collect you and take you to where you are needed.

3. You may come back to the station for your allocated refreshment breaks. You are not allowed in the station unless I or one of the other Sergeants requests your presence, or unless you have an arrest. I only want to see you on parade, in custody with a prisoner, on refreshments, or coming back to get changed out of your uniform at the end of the tour as I am going home.

4. You will not speak to the Inspector unless he asks you a question. If you want to speak to the Inspector, you will inform one of the other Sergeants or I of the subject you wish to speak to him about, and we will tell you not to bother him. Never transgress this rule.

5. You have no discretion. You will arrest anyone where an offence has been alleged against them, and you will give process tickets for every traffic offence that you observe. If you see the last hearse in a funeral cortege with the bereaved family not wearing a seat belt, you will give everyone of them a ticket. If the coffin is not suitably harnessed, you will give the bereaved a ticket.

6. Never ever complain about the conduct of a senior police constable. If you see something you do not like, learn from it, determine never to do it yourself.

7. If you are being bullied, do not bother the Inspector, other Sergeants or I. Resolve the matter physically, and hope that you are victorious.

8. Do not enter into a sexual relationship with a Woman Police Constable on your team. If you do, be prepared for the eventually that she will also be having a sexual relationship with one of your colleagues. I have seen this happen so many times, and I can assure you it will happen to you. There are far fewer WPC's in the force than there are men. She is in a Sweet Shop. She can have whatever different sweets she wants, and there will always be a nicer sweet than you.

9. I will only ever give you a direction once, or explain something once. If I have to tell you a second time, I will punish you. I will punish you severely. Do you understand? Or shall I repeat it?

10. I appreciate that you have a great deal of enthusiasm right now. Learn to temper it. I have been a police officer for 27 years. I love being a police officer. However, the force is now letting in people such as you. The force is not what it was. The job is f*cked. My Sergeant told me that when I joined and you will tell your new officers when, God forbid, you become a supervising officer.

'The job's f*cked.' If I had a penny for every time I've heard that throughout my career, I'd have £5.42p.

"Sarge, my arrest from the other day had no further action taken by CID." "Don't worry, the officers in CID are there because they were useless on the street and never had a clue. The job's f*cked."

"Guv, I've had both my rest days cancelled this weekend." "I know, me too, my wife was very unhappy. I said to her, I said, "The job's f*cked," but she still made me sleep in the shed."

"Hey, you never guess what everyone, I'm receiving a Chief Constable's Commendation for getting that burglar sent down!" "Well, done, you worked hard on that job. It's very much deserved."

I know that as soon as the officer leaves the canteen someone will say, "Unbelievable. He's useless and lazy. The job's f*cked."

Thinking back to my conversation with that elderly gentleman, I realised how little the attitudes of police officers have changed throughout history. Particularly when, as I was getting into my car to leave, the veteran officer tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Just one more thing Inspector, is the job still f*cked?"